Most people overestimate the amount of power it takes to remove someone from consciousness – at least temporarily. For the average person, it isn’t hard to rock someone to the ground with a mere punch – if you know where to aim. A quick jab, and then it’s all over and you’ve won the fight. Unless you’re fighting a boxer; in which case, it’ll take a lot more to get him to even blink. In a lot of ways, boxers are professional hit-takers. They get paid to take punches and inflict pain upon another; and yet it is seen as a pretty noble and competitive profession.

But you couldn’t pay me to do that. You might be able to pay me to take each punch and wipe away my blood on my sleeve and brandish a maybe toothless smile afterwards, but you couldn’t pay me to raise my fist and fight back. You couldn’t pay me to do what you did to me.

Though these punches be metaphorical, and I have never actually bled from taking shots to my body, I suppose I know what it’s like to be in the ring; a square of insecurity painted already red by my love for you falling to the canvas. My blood flying off of every inch of my face, being pelted in the corner by your blows over and over again until I no longer found the strength in myself to get back up.

But I was resilient in all the wrong ways; resilient to take the KO punches from you every time and come back just the same with my armor anew, maybe a bruise here or there or a chipped tooth. And yet it was very interesting to those of us – yes, us – when we compared the scars and cuts left behind by the blows, but I guess sometimes you gotta take hits to deal a hit.

We never dealt hits though, we were the punching bags in the gym brought to life, the response of a strong shot being a cry and a scream, possibly a tear if it was that good. Tears and tears. Tears fell down our cheeks as you tore us apart, laughing sadistically with everyone. Sometimes you’d claim it was just a joke, but we knew better.

We are not boxers. We have been knocked out more times than we can count, and it’s near impossible to count when you’re knocked down.